If you’re anything like me, you love to travel. And I hate to break it to you, but that travel bug only gets worse as you grow because you start realizing what else is out there and what you’re missing by not traveling. As you travel, you will meet thousands of people and start figuring out what you’re looking for in a partner (if you don’t have one already). As you get older, you will want someone to share the good times with.
But will traveling make or break a relationship?
Once you start traveling in a relationship, what happens to your traveling persona? Do you stop traveling, do you travel together, do you travel without your partner? Traveling can make or break that romance.
Traveling Without a Partner
Leaving your significant other home while you travel can have its pros and cons. It will test the trust in your relationship. There might be some jealousy issues. You might run the risk of one of you cheating. Or you could miss your partner so much you don’t make the most out of your trip (running to Skype every day is no way to enjoy a trip). Depending on the length of your trip, you may find that you’ve grown much more than your significant other during your time apart, especially if it lasts a year or longer. I believe that travelers are much more cultured, open-minded, and mature than non-travelers, and that can put you on two different maturity levels in a relationship.
However, traveling without your partner could be a fun way to immerse yourself in a new culture without any crutches. If you have to survive on your own in a new world, you’ll feel much more accomplished when you come out of it successfully (or even unsuccessfully, if you tried your best). You’ll have new stories to come home with, new outlooks on things, and better tips for trips together in the future. Traveling solo could really show a trusting, secure, safe relationship and bring you even closer together because of that trust. Plus, that old saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” isn’t just a cliche!
Traveling as a Couple
I have to admit that I have never traveled solo solo, although I have left a significant other at home during family vacations (which, for purposes of this post, counts as traveling solo). I do tend to jump into trips with people I barely know. Within the first two months of meeting my current boyfriend of seven years, I asked him if he wanted to take a spontaneous trip to Florida with me. He said yes and I knew with our mutual love of spontaneous travel, this one was a keeper.
Fast forward through six years of typical week-long vacations to 2014, when we decided to pack up our belongings, say goodbye to our families, and booked a one-way ticket to Spain (where neither of us had ever been before) where we had gotten jobs teaching English for the school year. Keep in mind neither of us really spoke Spanish, and this decision came right after a three-month break we decided to take, so this was a pretty aggressive move on both our parts.
Traveling together in a new environment, all you have is each other. 24/7. Just each other. It really puts any relationship to the test. You have to depend on each other more than ever and really trust that the other person will always be there for you when you need help, even if there’s nothing he or she can do. You will spend most, if not all, of your time together because you have no other friends or family and don’t speak the language. Either you will mesh or clash.
Side note: our relationship strengthened so much that we never fought in the entire year we lived in Spain. It’s like our problems pre-Spain never happened. My story is a success story!
Whether you’re traveling together for a long time or a short time, you will learn everything about your partner. It’s like you now have x-ray vision and can see everything you want to know. You’ll find out deep personality characteristics when you see how your partner treats foreigners, wait staff, hotel staff, etc. You’ll learn whether your partner prefers to spend more time-saving money or having fun. If/when your plans go awry (it is inevitable), you’ll get to see how your partner reacts to unpredictable circumstances and whether he or she rolls with the punches or throws a tantrum and blames anyone nearby.
You’ll learn if you can solve problems together. You’ll learn if one of you is the problem-maker and one is the problem-solver. And you’ll discover whether you have common interests and have fun together or if you’re going to have to make a lot of compromises in this relationship. Hint: If you enjoy traveling together and doing things together, it probably bodes well for your future relationship.
Will Traveling Make or Break a Relationship? Only One Way to Find Out
If you find yourself in a relationship and questioning what will happen to your bucket list, it doesn’t mean your travel days are over. If anything, it might mean your solo travel days are over! Or it might mean you have a good reason to look forward to coming home when you do travel solo. Traveling in a relationship adds a new level of pressure, but it’s worth it. Whether you travel with or without your partner, you can grow together and fortify your relationship.
Will traveling make or break a relationship? Share on XTravel can cement, test, or unravel a bond. You’ll discover things about yourself that you never knew before (Pocahontas says it best: “You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew.”) Traveling in a relationship, whether with your partner or without, is really the ultimate relationship test.
How have you handled traveling in a relationship? Do you always travel with your partner? Do you like to travel without your partner? Have you met a new love abroad and need to travel to see him or her? Tell me your travel relationship stories below!
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P.S. You might also like 10 Reasons Why Traveling is a Terrible Idea and Traveling Abroad With (or Without) a Boyfriend
I loved your article ! My story with my newly-husband also started with an impromptu trip to Ibiza, then we traveled a couple of times before hitting the States for 82 days for our honeymoon/backpacker-road-trip. I agree that you can get a new perspective on your S.O. seeing how s.he interact with staff etc. So far it’s been great and strengthening too !
I’m so glad to hear that it worked out well! I feel like if you find someone willing to travel like that with you, it usually will end well 🙂 I love that you went on an 82-day honeymoon <3
I want to know how you met a partner who was down for spontaneous travel? I take to my non-romantic women friends about this and they all immediately think a guy is trying to show off cash or whatever…maybe it’s different if a woman initiates. i don’t know. Insanely jealous. I’ve only done solo (via tour group). It’s looking like the next step is solo solo just because I don’t seem to meet people who are as excited to take time off work to wander.
It’s difficult to find people who enjoy spontaneous travel! Have you found that your travel interests attract others like you? I met my partner because we both worked in Mexico, so I think we both kind of knew we were going to have similar travel interests, although it does get harder as we get older. I find most of my friends that I keep in touch with also tend to travel more than my friends that I’ve lost touch with. Keep your ears open for people who travel or talk about traveling…those are the ones you want to develop a better relationship with! Nothing wrong with solo trips though…I just booked my first one!
I also want to hear the tantrum guy story! I’m a solo traveler and I actually prefer being single, so I’m not sure I’ll ever find out what it’s like to travel in a relationship. But it is interesting to hear from another perspective, and what you say about travel testing a relationship makes a lot of sense.
Wow-that is a twist in your story! Usually the ‘break’ is the end for most people but looks like you just both wanted adventure-and wanted it together. Lovely
I agree you can’t travel with everyone and it’s those who you can have a great time with no matter what is thrown at you that I think make the best long term partners. I’m a traveler and i need a partner who can roll with the punches and make lemons out of lemonade. Laugh with me during the hard times, and do his part to tackle problems, not just leave me to do everything (since I’m pretty darn good at problem solving).
if you act as a team, everything is so much better
Ahh I love this. I’m currently traveling solo without my boyfriend. Gives me something to look forward to!
Very insightful post…I travel both ways..I am not much of a loner or solo person , so think I would be scared to travel alone too much..you sound so brave..wish I was that way!
Valerie
Voting for tantrum guy story!
Great perspective! I’m about to start traveling internationally a lot for work, and my husband is hoping to meet up with me every once in a while. When we’re not traveling together, we have so many stories to share. Also, when we DO travel together, we like to take some solo free time. It’s fun to share stories over dinner after a day of exploring independently.
Like you, I’m very lucky that I found a good one who loves to travel as much as I do 🙂 It’s really important that when you meet someone, you share the same desires and passions in life. Good luck in Spain!
I had a piece a while ago about the same subject and from my experience traveling with your loved one can only show you how much you love him or not!
Great advice! I’ve done the “running to Skype at a set time every day” in Maui once – never doing that again! It’s good to keep in touch by sending photos or little blurbs throughout the day (on WhatsApp or Viber) to keep them in the loop, even if they’re not traveling with you 🙂
That is cool relationship is solid and have travel in common.